


your heart hurts to see them go

by dreamchapter



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, firstly: i'm so sorry, the others are mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:55:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22171402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamchapter/pseuds/dreamchapter
Summary: he breathes in and—oh. maybe it's the hugs that he'll miss.
Relationships: Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 8
Kudos: 99





	your heart hurts to see them go

the sun has set, darkness covering the city. kai helped taehyun take his belongings from the car trunk. soobin, beomgyu and yeonjun's car arrived shortly before theirs, so they were already inside. the five were at the airport to send off taehyun and yeonjun — taehyun, to further his studies in europe, and yeonjun for an internship in america.

"do you really have to go?" kai huffs as he pulls out the luggage.

taehyun, pulling on his backpack and adjusting his hoodie, nodded. "i'm taking on the company, dad said it was best if i study overseas."

"but, _why_ ," kai pouts, pulling taehyun's luggage as they enter the airport. "there's seoul university, tokyo, singapore, whatever. why europe?"

the other raises a brow. "there's a lot of good universities there," he replies, lips quirked up to a smile.

"yeah, but there's a huge time difference!" kai whines. he knows he sounds like a petulant child, but he doesn't care. his best friend is /leaving/ him. his diaper mate, neighbor, Best Bro. leaving. him. how dare he? 

taehyun laughs heartily. "time is a construct," he says. "and it's not like we would go to bed at 10pm sharp." in the distance, kai sees beomgyu wave at them.

"but you're so far away," kai huffs. "who's going to hold my hands?" he doesn't know why he said that. there are 51 million people in korea. that's 100 million other hands to hold. it's not like taehyun's hand is the only pair of hands he wants to hold or anything. his hands fit perfectly with soobin's too, and beomgyu's hands are soft. but he doesn't want to hold theirs because it's just weird— weird to hold his bro's hands. but he's fine with taehyun's tiny, soft hands. he's overthinking this.

taehyun snakes an arm around kai's and they walk over to their friends. "there's always the hyungs, and don't you have a crush? you can hold theirs."

kai pouts. "but they're not—" _you._ he stops himself. why is he being like this? "i don't like their hands. too coarse." lies. "i don't like anyone." that's a truth.

they come to a stop in front of their friends. "sounds fake, but okay." taehyun throws him a shit-eating grin. "just noticed, but you're blushing. you sure about that?" he questions, but it sounds like it's a fact.

does he like anyone?

the five friends were seated in mcdonalds. beomgyu wolfing down two cheeseburgers, soobin inhaling fries, yeonjun savouring his last mcdonalds ice cream, and taehyun eating like a normal person. kai sits with his vanilla milkshake, staring into space.

does he like anyone? what /is/ the definition of 'like'? how does he know if he like- _likes_ a person? how can he be sure that it's not an infatuation? is he crushing on them because they're cute? or because they were nice to him once? or because their hands touched once and he liked it? 

his sister had said it becomes a crush when you want to kiss them senseless, when you want to hold their hands, bring them out on library dates, when you want to feed them cup noodles. and most importantly, your heart hurts to see them go. but his sister is a liar. whatever.

“earth to kai,” taehyun whispers into his ear. he jolts, and taehyun giggles. hyuka pulls his lip into a downturn, but it doesn't stay for long. he can never get mad at taehyun. never.

still, he fakes a frown. "i'm mad at you," kai huffs, pouting for good measure.

taehyun only wheezes harder, his eyes crinkling a little more, eyes sparkling. "i'm sorry, baby," he apologizes when he catches his breath. (no, kai's heart did not melt at the pet name.) a long fry is chosen, and held up to kai's mouth. "accept my apology gift?"

kai's eyes flicker back and forth between taehyun and the fry. he could accept it and make taehyun smile, or he could reject it and demand for greater compensation. (like a kiss, his mind supplies)

he shakes off the thought and accepts the sad fry.

when it's time for them to part, kai pretends he isn't teary-eyed. he's not going to be a big whiny baby about taehyun's departure. nope.

after hugging yeonjun goodbye, he turns to face taehyun, who is looking at him with bright eyes. "hyunie," kai mumbles, feeling his throat swell up. "do you really have to go?"

a nod, and the waterworks start. taehyun silently pulls kai into his arms as the latter cried.

why is he crying so much? it's not like taehyun is leaving forever. he'll be back for the break— that's in two months! he'd survive a week without taehyun before, two months will be nothing.

he breathes in and— _oh_. maybe it's the hugs that he'll miss. maybe it's their study sessions, the movie nights. their cuddle sessions, the gifts they get for each other for no reason. taehyun's strawberry smell, his little obsession over magic tricks. taehyun's hand brushing his cheek, his hand covering taehyun's much tinier ones.

"i'm going to miss you," he confesses against the nook of taehyun's neck when he finally calms down. "i'm crying all over your shirt, aren't i."

taehyun chuckles against him. "yeah."

"sorry."

a silence. kai hears beomgyu lecturing yeonjun beside them, and he pulls away from taehyun. "your flight is soon," he whispers hoarsely as taehyun dabs at his face with tissue.

"i'll go in now. text you on the plane?" taehyun replies, hopeful eyes looking up into kai's.

kai nods, sniffling. "don't trip."

the other boy cranks a smile. "you too," he laughs, and kai's heart flutters. grabbing his luggage, taehyun turns to yeonjun. "let's go, hyung."

when the pair are out of sight, beomgyu turns to kai. "so, did you confess?"

kai shoots him a look, confused. soobin nudges beomgyu harshly, earning a yowl.

at soobin's place, kai receives a text from taehyun.

_from:_ **_tyuntyun_ ** _[12-02-2021, 9:43 PM]_

_hi, hyuka. by the time you're reading is, i've probably have my phone switched off for the flight. i do hope you will not come to dislike me after reading this lengthy message. (i know you hate reading, don't try to hide it)_

_we've been friends since we were born. i'd let you have your way whenever we played, and you'd entertain my love for magic. we grew up together, sharing everything, being there for each other. you protected me when i was picked on that one time. i watched you grow from a tiny clumsy infant to an oversized puppy. and i'm thankful for that. i'm thankful for having met you. you are the bestest friend i could ever wish for._

_that aside, i want to tell you something. i love you._ _i don't know when, or how. but i did. i knew and i don't think i'll ever stop. every day i spent with you only solidified my feelings for you._ _falling in love with you is like entering a rotting house and realizing i'm home. seeing you smile makes me feel warm inside. when i look at you, it's like all my worries had dissipated. having you with me makes me feel protected, makes me feel like i can achieve anything._

_i'm sorry for keeping this from you. i know you don't like secrets, but i just want to stay by your side for a little longer. is it too selfish of me to do so? because honestly, i only have the courage to tell you this now because i'm leaving, because i don't know when i'll be back. dad's setting up a chain in europe, i don't know if i'll be assigned to it._

_i'm sorry you had to find out this way, right before my plane leaves. i just want you to know that you have a special place in my heart, and it's your decision to make. it's understandable if you don't wish to talk to me after this. you're a sweet boy, so don't sugarcoat your rejection._

_bye hyuka xx._

"hyuka, are you crying?" soobin asks, worry evident in his voice. he pulls the younger boy into a hug, "beomgyu, get some tissues."

_your heart aches to see them go._

"kai, what's wrong?"

_don't you you have a crush?_

**Author's Note:**

> so how did i do ^_^?????
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/astertyun)


End file.
